Ep. 130 | The Mindsets That Shape Your Life
With Chad Erlenborn & Daniel Girdler
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube
What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life Jesus promises is the way you think?
In this episode, Rob Dayton sits down with two close friends, fellow Master’s Program graduates, and longtime brothers in the journey of spiritual formation: Chad Erlenborn, a pastor and leadership coach, and Daniel Girdler, a realtor and business leader passionate about intentional living.
Together, they dive deep into one of the most transformational aspects of following Jesus: mindset.
Building on the recent Mindsets of Jesus series, Rob and his guests unpack why true transformation begins not with behavior modification, but with learning how to think differently. They explore how deeply ingrained thought patterns shape our emotions, relationships, faith, and response to suffering, and why renewing the mind may be one of the most important disciplines for anyone serious about spiritual growth.
Daniel shares a powerful analogy from his ACL recovery, comparing mindset transformation to painful physical therapy. Just as scar tissue must be broken apart for healing and freedom, old patterns of thinking often require discomfort before lasting change can happen.
Chad brings practical examples from marriage, forgiveness, and leadership, showing how simple shifts in perspective can radically transform relationships. From learning to “be the dog” in marriage to reframing difficult circumstances through the lens of eternity, the conversation stays deeply practical while remaining rooted in the teachings of Jesus.
The episode closes with a powerful reminder that life is not random chaos. Jesus has given us a framework for transformation. Through intentional mindsets, practiced daily, we learn to think with love, endure suffering with hope, and ultimately live the abundant life He promises.
If you’ve ever wondered how to actually change the way you think and experience deeper transformation as a follower of Jesus, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom worth revisiting.
You’ll Hear
• Why mindset is foundational to following Jesus
• How suffering becomes the “gym” where transformation happens
• Practical mindset shifts that strengthen marriage and relationships
• Why eternal perspective changes how we live today
• How forgiveness becomes possible through Christ’s sacrifice
• Why Jesus gives us a framework for lasting transformation
Journal Prompts
• Holy Spirit, what mindset do I need to be working on right now?
• Where in my life are You asking me to change the way I think so I can live more like Jesus?
-
Rob Dayton:
Welcome to the 100X Life Podcast, where we activate people who desire to live the words of Jesus and experience the abundant life He promises. I'm your host, Rob Dayton, and I hope this podcast inspires you to put in the work of following Jesus.
Hey, 100x lifers, welcome back to the podcast. I have got two of the most amazing, most incredible people in my life on the call: Daniel Girdler and Chad Erlenborn, both a part of our band of brothers. We are master's program grads, of course, but then also we meet quarterly to talk about life mastery, life mission. How are we doing? What's our current status? Where have we been in the last 90 days?
Where are we going in the next ninety days? And they have been brothers in arms for me and my band of brothers. Welcome to the podcast.
Daniel:
Thanks, Rob.
Chad:
Thank you, Rob. Great to be with you, bro. Excited to be able to walk with you. Daniel's a rock star as well. He's actually a pretty good singer and guitar player, too.
Rob Dayton:
He is. He is. Now that his daughter's in Nashville, that's pretty cool.
Daniel:
Getting real.
Rob Dayton:
So the reason I want to have you guys on is because I just want to have a conversation amongst bros. Ladies, you can listen in here. I'm not meaning that to be exclusive, but we've been running and doing life together. You guys are both 100xLife coaches. We know the master's program through and through. We're in the process of actively encouraging one another to put it into practice.
We've been talking on the podcast about mindsets and mindset formation. I just finished a series, 10 Mindsets of Jesus, trying to explore and propose what would Jesus' mindset have been that would have created so many good actions.
Remember, Jesus's first commandment was repent and believe. I like to say, repent so that you can believe. So repentance, changing the way you think, is very fundamental to Christians.
In fact, I would say if you're a Jesus follower, the capability of forming a different mindset, or a mindset that's closer to the truth of Jesus, is perhaps one of the most powerful things you can do as a follower.
And as you guys know, because I've talked about it in the room at the master's program, it's very difficult to teach people how to do a mindset. How do you develop that? What does that look like?
And just to do some fundamentals before we get into it, the thing that's really important to understand as parameters of our conversation is if you could put it on a to-do list, it's probably not a mindset. It's not something you do. It's a way you think.
And that's really what we're trying to do to get to our vision of the abundant life in the 100X Life. We're going to think differently so that we do differently, so that we can have that abundant life by obeying the words of Jesus.
Mindset is going to be the practice that's going to get us there.
So let's get into it, guys.
Daniel, give me just your first raw thoughts after that intro and mindset. What's going through your mind?
Daniel:
Mindset is everything. It's just everything.
We are completely done for if we do not grasp the power of our thought process, how we frame circumstances. Yeah, it's life and death, man. It's night and day.
And I think it's also not easy changing mindsets, some of which are way deep ingrained and some of which have roots we don't even know exist, but there they are, and that's where that stuff's coming from.
I recently tore my ACL, as you guys both know very well.
Rob Dayton:
I think we were with you in Idaho when that happened.
Daniel:
Yeah, you were there. And it was a little bit ouch.
But I might as well share this now. As I was in recovery, and I still am a little bit, scar tissue forms around the surgery and your leg gets pretty immobile and stiff and gnarly.
And I was going through PT and all the rest of it, which I thought, Rob and Chad, might be quite a nice massage type experience.
It was not.
Chad:
Ouch.
Daniel:
And they started beating me up.
And just over the course of some of that, the physicality, the brute force required to begin breaking up and stretching the scar tissue that had formed was no joke.
Rob Dayton:
Painful probably too.
Daniel:
But the result of that is my knee began to move more freely.
And this may sound a little obtuse, but the analogy that came to me as I was lying there is that that's kind of similar to what we're talking about today.
Changing mindsets is no joke, and it can be very hard, and it can require the equivalent of some significant brute force.
It ain't just gonna happen. It is gonna hurt.
But if we will go through it and break up that quote unquote scar tissue of our thoughts and programming and mental GPS, freedom will come.
But if we don't understand, or perceive, that it may well come through a process of some pretty rigorous PT in the mental gym, then I think we're going to get taken by surprise and maybe not understand what's going on, what God is doing.
I think that can really seriously shortcut what it is God is trying to do in us through any process or circumstance we may find ourselves in.
So we can come back to that.
Rob Dayton:
Sounds like what you're saying is mindset is really a way of following Jesus.
And I love what you're talking about. It's how you frame what you're observing.
How are you framing this existing circumstance in your mind?
Daniel:
One hundred percent.
And I think circumstances will come which really force the issue.
When things are a certain way in terms of comfort or ease or distraction and busyness, it's very easy not to have to go there or look at it.
Rob Dayton:
And then the rewiring of your brain is kind of like that PT experience.
Because I think what you're saying, Daniel, is you got this difficult circumstance and it feels very painful.
And now we have to all of a sudden think about okay, well, how are we framing this?
What's my mindset when all I want to do is scream or shout or cuss or exude anger or lash out?
All those thoughts in that moment of pressure.
The neuroplasticity place where we can actually rewire our brains is in that difficult moment.
Is that what you're saying?
Daniel:
Very much so.
The reality of life is it can be excruciating.
There's stuff that happens to all of us, and many people listening, I'm sure, either now or in the past or even still to come, which let's not BS around this.
Stuff can be really, really hard.
Stuff can be heartbreakingly hard.
And there are the times of the cussing and the shouting and the why this and the why that.
And I think the only hope we have, aside from God's grace picking us up when we really do reach our limit, is to say as excruciating as this may be, if I will let Him, there's something God is trying to do inside of me.
There's some scar tissue being broken up right now, which is ultimately for my good.
And that doesn't necessarily make it easier, but it kind of can do as well.
Because alongside the cussing and the shouting and the crying also becomes actually, I'm going to choose to proclaim this truth, even through gritted teeth.
I'm going to choose to look for this emotion inside of me by trying to find Jesus' face, even though everything in me is just like, what is happening right now?
So it's this wrestle, this PT again, for want of a better analogy, which is very real.
And I think it's like...
Sorry Chad, I'm doing a lot of talking, bro.
Daniel:
It’s another thought which came kind of similar. It’s like there’s this huge weight on the rack at the gym. And that’s the thought that we need in order to conquer the rest that we’re facing.
But it’s too heavy. It’s too heavy.
The burden’s too much. The pain is too great. The remorse, the regret, whatever it may be, the frustration.
But the fact we even know that weight is there to be lifted, even that is a game changer.
Rob Dayton:
To have that mindset that this is a gym.
Daniel:
Yeah, because I dare to say that most people don’t even really know there is that weight to be lifted. That there can be lifted.
It’s just, my gosh, I’m in this state and I don’t know what to do and I’m hopeless and I’m going to forever be this frail waif blown by the winds.
But if we know there’s a weight there, even if when we try and lift it at first, with our thoughts or emotions changing is the analogy, right, and we can’t do it because the circumstance is too hard…
The fact we know it’s there might help us to say, I can’t do that right now, but there’s a little dumbbell over there.
And I’m going to do that.
I’m going to pick up that piddly little dumbbell and I’m going to do that once a day and just see what happens the next day.
And then the next day.
And then the dumbbell gets heavier.
And then we edge ourselves towards really being able to lift the weight that needs to be lifted.
Rob Dayton:
I’ll go pick up that and do some reps.
So let’s talk about that practically, progressively.
Could that be like… and Chad jump in here anytime…
Okay, I’m just making up in my brain.
So Bob is someone who stole from me, who’s really persecuted me, hates me.
Putting too much weight on the bar might be going to meet with him right away.
And then a lighter rep might be let me just practice the way I think about Bob in the morning as I wake up or when I go to bed.
Or another heavier weight, the way I’m talking about Bob with someone who knows that he’s wronged me.
And then gradual weight up into the place where you’re actually not necessarily confronting, but you’re trying to, in the words of Jesus, be reconciled to your brother.
That would be like the heaviest weight.
Is that kind of what you’re talking about?
Is that there’s this progression, a practical progression?
Daniel:
Yeah, it’s progression.
Maybe you’ll find a pretty written affirmation or declaration, right, which is just hope filled.
Alright, so for example, one I might read once I finally get my head up and out of the water enough to even do this.
I might say, it’s kind of a take on Psalm 1.
I am like a flourishing tree planted by rivers of living water.
I am deeply rooted, bearing good fruit in every season.
I’m never dry, never weary, never fainting.
I’m always blessed.
Whatever I put my hand to prospers.
Even my mistakes are touched by your grace and turn for good.
So if I could just get that out of my mouth…
Though I’m framing, even though circumstantially I may be in turmoil or not understanding or how could this have happened…
If I could begin with just the smaller dumbbell of saying that out loud, for example, that might be an example of an incremental step towards trying to reorientate the inner stuff.
Rob Dayton:
There you’re framing.
Daniel:
Into a better place and also being into the freedom that I think God wants us to all get into.
Rob Dayton:
It’s so practical, Chad.
What Daniel was saying, he’s using Psalm 1 to tell himself a story, a different story than perhaps his brain is telling him.
His mind is actively choosing a different story.
Something in my life that’s been very effective is to just compare my life with anyone in, as you’re familiar with Chad, the worst places in the world in poverty.
There is no complaint in my life.
It just doesn’t matter.
Well, I could make an argument, but in comparison, I am doing absolutely phenomenal.
Does that ring true?
Is that a place that you would go with your mindset?
Chad:
Certainly it is at times helpful to compare ourselves with others.
At times it can’t be because it’s hard to put ourselves in those situations specifically.
But I do believe strongly that what we think about, we become.
As I was interacting with some of the guys that I’m coaching, we want to have a stronger mindset with our marriage, right?
So married 20 years, married 30 years, married 30 plus years, you can get into a lull in your relationship with your spouse.
So some of the mindset shifts that we’ve been seeking to take incrementally…
Small steps over a long period of time make the biggest difference.
But when we enter into our spouse, into a conversation, the mindset is she’s the most beautiful woman on the planet.
She’s my one and only.
She’s created for me. I am for her.
So there’s different mindset shifts that we’re trying to make as we enter into a real conversation or an observation with our spouse.
And it has made a huge difference.
Now I love the struggle component that Daniel mentioned earlier because there’s something beautiful about the struggle when you can emerge out of that struggle with a new mindset.
So I’ve been practicing some of those marital mindsets for a while, but I came into a struggle with my wife that wanted a dog.
We’ve had our pair of dogs, and dogs are great, but she really wanted another dog and we fostered a dog and I was not at a space where I wanted a dog.
And it was a bit of a tension in our relationship.
Rob Dayton:
Would this be an example where the weight was really heavy on the bar?
Chad:
Well, you might think it’s light, but for me it was very heavy.
And it is kind of humorous to think that a dog is that heavy.
But that’s how it felt on my chest.
As I tried to seek to love my wife well and honor her, how do I also wisely move into this season of our life where kids are primarily out of the house?
So I wrestled, I struggled, and I got a new mindset.
Be the dog.
Rob Dayton:
Tell us about that.
Why does that relate?
The dog that she wants, you become.
Chad:
And I want to be the dog.
I want to be as attentive to her when she walks into the room as a dog is that wants to come up snug with her and get all excited.
Just display unconditional love and be near her.
Rob Dayton:
I mean that’s amazing because we don’t really know, we’re not in her mind, but she could have been wanting the dog because she wants that kind of attention.
And the solution is I’m just gonna become like a dog and make me seeing her the best moment of my day.
Chad:
Next time you see me you just gotta say, what’s up dog?
Rob Dayton:
What’s up dog?
So okay, that’s a great example of a mindset trigger.
How is that practically manifesting?
What do you do to grow that be the dog mindset in a marriage?
Chad:
As soon as she walks in the room, I already got it in my head.
I’m a dog.
I’m getting up from wherever I am.
In fact, I’m anticipating when she’s gonna come in.
I kind of know how to get excited, what to do, get the door open, get the kitchen clean, get this and that.
Because I’m ready to welcome her into the house with hugs.
How you doing?
Fully present in the moment.
And then we go for a walk in the evening.
Rob Dayton:
Present.
Chad:
Where it’s talking.
So it’s kind of like, what would a dog do?
That’s what I want to do.
Rob Dayton:
Go for a walk, go for a walk.
And be attentive.
I love that.
That’s so amazing.
Chad:
It came out of the struggle, right?
And it has rebirthed in me some new energy.
And I think that might be the lesson.
We have specific mindsets. We’ve been doing it for a while, but maybe there’s a new way of approaching it or a new word or phrase that can provide some energy into whatever relationship or space you’re moving into.
Rob Dayton:
It’s kind of like what Daniel was saying.
The framing of be the dog really makes sense.
It’s very intuitive.
We know exactly how to behave.
There’s so much parallel.
So we’re just framing, okay, be the dog.
Now I know what to do.
I’m gonna think like a dog would.
And then you mentioned my mindset, which is Nancy’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
That’s mine that works well for me.
Daniel, in marriage, give me your mindset that works really good for you and Amanda.
Daniel:
Well, all of the above, right?
I think that’s kind of universal probably, what you both just said.
Appreciating… this is used and talked about a lot, but love languages are a real thing, it turns out.
So I think being cognizant of whether I am speaking that language that she needs.
Rob Dayton:
What’s her love language specifically?
Daniel:
I think the number one is acts of service.
Rob Dayton:
That’s what I was gonna guess.
Daniel:
So mine is not.
Rob Dayton:
Funny that.
Opposites attract.
Daniel:
So, you know, I’m very much looking for a bit of my love language and she’s very much looking for some of her love language.
And funnily enough, when we speak each other’s love language, funnily enough, our own love languages somehow end up getting met.
But when we don’t perceive or step up to speak the required love language from us, things don’t usually go very well.
Rob Dayton:
That’s good.
Daniel:
So I do think that’s a very real framing in my mind that I’m continuing to work on and speak, for want of a better phrase, what she needs to hear and see in me and from me.
Rob Dayton:
That’s turned into just a checklist because Nancy’s also acts of service.
So I’ll just have it on my phone.
Here’s all the things Nancy wants.
And I’m just looking at it and I try to check them off.
And the goal for me is that she asks me again to do the thing, and I already did that.
That’s when she feels the most love.
When she’s asking me, like she’s reminding me, and I already did it.
Daniel:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think framing how we frame marriage is so important, isn’t it?
Because there may be things we get frustrated about and we get caught up in the moment or in our own need or frustration or whatever it might be.
There are reasons why our spouses sometimes behave the way they do.
And I think me just reminding myself, yeah, well, you know, we went through this or she’s had to go through that.
And there’s reason for whatever it is that might be happening right now rather than just what the hell.
Just breathe, bro.
Rob Dayton:
Right, because you’re bringing up something really important, Daniel, that I hadn’t thought of.
Maybe I had, I just didn’t call it out.
Your mindset can be super negative or positive.
We’re technically talking about going to positive mindsets, but in reflection for marriage, this might be super helpful for people listening.
The mindset that I married the wrong person, that is gonna be so toxic.
It’s not going to work out.
I’m trying to think of some of the other mindsets.
This person just doesn’t have what it takes.
They’re stupid.
Absolutes.
They’ll never love me like I need to be loved.
That’s a belief.
That’s actually a belief system versus some of the positive ones that you’re mentioning.
Chad, what are your thoughts on that?
Chad:
Yeah, another one that comes to mind related to negative mindset is you’re so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good.
And you talked about… I think you said a lifetime limited mindset.
How did you frame that up in the last podcast?
Rob Dayton:
You mean like the eternal mindset?
Chad:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you had another phrase for it.
There’s limits.
A lifetime limited mindset or something like that.
Rob Dayton:
A lifetime limited mindset.
In other words, your mind only fits within this box of birth to death.
Chad:
That’s right.
Lifetime limited.
And another way of framing that is you’re so heavenly minded, you’re no earthly good, which is a phrase that people have said and heard and at times believe, but it’s completely false.
When we really fix our eyes above, for this eternal state, in Hebrews 11, or when it talks about Jesus, for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross.
So there’s something joyful He’s anticipating that He can overcome the current challenges.
There’s some great traction with that mindset.
And you referenced the book Imagine Heaven.
I devoured this book because I have plenty of scriptures related to what heaven is like, but to have some documentation from a pastor who was an engineer writing about what heaven is like just lit my mind up.
Got me fired up for what’s to come because it created some stronger pictures.
Rob Dayton:
Tell us the mindset that you feel like is developing from Imagine Heaven.
Which just for our listeners is a compilation of near death experiences.
Over two million Americans have gone to heaven and returned to tell us about it.
So I call this the science of heaven.
You can read what’s in the Bible, and then we’ve got all this evidence from what people say.
How is it forming mindset in you, Chad?
What’s shifting?
Chad:
I’m still developing a phrase or a mindset as it relates to heaven.
So it’s not be the dog yet.
But it is sort of like be alive.
When there’s a quote by an early church father that said the glory of God is man fully alive.
When I think about heaven, where I’m gonna be most alive then…
This is warm-up for what’s to come.
And so it’s a place that I’m looking forward to, not a place that I’m dreading.
And that’s a shift.
Because although plenty of scriptures, plenty of truth, nothing could grab my imagination.
And when I’ve read this book and I’ve seen my imagination…
Of lights and colors and beauty and the presence of God and the warmth of God and having a life review…
All these elements that I’m reading about just illumine my mind and warm my heart to the joy that’s set before us.
So whatever we’re going through feels like a cross, but there’s something beautiful.
Rob Dayton:
We’ve got that joy for millions of years to look forward to.
Chad:
Amen.
So I’m meditating on Colossians 3.
Putting my mind on things above, not on earthly things.
Set my mind on things above.
And I’ll have a deeper understanding of what that looks like so I can anticipate that.
And one of the things that some of the near death experiences talk about is having thoughts come into your mind.
You’re not verbally communicating with God, but you’re getting thoughts in your mind.
I wonder if I could do that more frequently here on earth.
Like if that’s what’s gonna happen in heaven, what do I need to do now to get more thoughts impressed in my head?
Rob Dayton:
Well, and before you say the answer, let’s just biblically ground what you’re about to say.
Jesus invites us to pray that His will would be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Anything that’s done in heaven, free game to be done here.
Keep going.
Chad:
I want to make myself a better man and the world a better place.
That’s a mindset.
I want to make myself a better man and the world a better place.
And the Spirit sort of spoke to me.
He said, I don’t want you to get better, I want you to get closer.
Rob Dayton:
Mindset.
Come on.
Chad:
And it wasn’t like the previous mindset was wrong because I still want to look better.
But now I have another mindset.
It’s not about getting better, it’s about getting closer.
It’s about union with Christ.
That’s the goal.
It’s not to be more like Christ, that’s the result.
The goal is to be in union with Christ.
Rob Dayton:
Or maybe another way of saying it is in relationship.
Which by the way, that’s also human to human.
One of the things that helps me in my mindset is in this life review.
The people who had a life review, they report that it wasn’t the big accomplishments in their lives that were even mentioned.
I’m thinking of like I brought roundabouts to Santa Barbara or I’ve been a coach in the master’s program.
Cooler things.
Those probably are not gonna be mentioned.
What is mentioned is how you related to people.
And that’s kind of what I’m taking from what you’re doing.
God’s calling in you to relationship.
He wants to be in relationship.
That is the most important.
Wouldn’t that make sense that relationship with people is equally as important?
So the way that changes my activities here on planet earth is I’m thinking as I’m going through my day…
The person in front of me, wow, they might be in my life review.
Let me love the hell out of him right now.
I’m gonna give you full attention, presence.
I’m gonna be thinking about you.
Is Holy Spirit saying something about you right now that I could actually bring out?
How could I love you, serve you?
I’m just thinking that it’s the people we meet in my day that are gonna be the most important thing.
Daniel, what’s your eternal mindset?
Daniel:
Wow, that’s a big question Robbo.
What’s my eternal mindset?
Well, I guess one thing that comes to mind, and to your point about what is God’s economy in terms of value…
There are some moments where you just know that you responded despite the odds or the circumstances in a way which God was pleased with.
Which actually honored Him in that moment.
And you can feel that.
Just kind of an attaboy.
Just kind of a smile or whatever you want to call it.
And those are the moments for me which feel like that landed somewhere.
Some of those things I could almost kind of say, that one counted.
And it’s not necessarily the big thing at all.
It’s literally just a chosen response in a moment when I really could have chosen something else.
So yeah, in terms of eternal mindset, affirming what you’re saying…
I don’t think it has to be the grandiose or the numerically measured quantifiable things.
I think it’s what actually might just make the Father smile and say attaboy.
Rob Dayton:
Yeah, in the words of Jesus, He’s saying if you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar.
In other words, reconciling with your brother or your sister is more important than worship.
And then John goes as far as saying, I’m gonna say it’s the third chapter of First John, where he says if you can’t love others, you can’t love God.
Daniel:
Yeah.
And there’s something about the eternal perspective that is hugely motivating, hugely encouraging.
I mean it’s amazing, but also a little bit sobering.
I would like to stand on that day as well as I’m able to.
Did I do any of the things that You planned in advance for me to walk in?
What can I bring with me?
And I know they say you can’t bring the stuff with you, but clearly biblically there is certainly some stuff we do bring with us.
Chad:
I think the number one thing that we bring with us to heaven is love.
How you love your spouse, how you love your kids, how you love your enemies, how you love your boss.
How we love.
That’s what we bring with us when we get to heaven.
We don’t bring anything else.
We just bring our love.
And I think that’s consistent with Christ’s command to love God and love your neighbor.
It rings true with what we read in the book, but it also rings true with what our Savior has spoken.
That’s the one thing we bring, is love.
Rob Dayton:
So let’s work on that.
As I said in the 100X Life, the commands of Christ are the behaviors of love.
And now we’re talking about mindsets.
The mindsets of Jesus are the mindsets of love.
It’s the love way of thinking.
Let’s surf that, Chad.
You’re saying love is the most important thing here.
What kind of mindset, story I tell myself, as Daniel put it, framing a way of thinking, a way of practicing gratitude that would really help me move into loving others because I’m now thinking in a way of love.
Do you have a picture?
Do you have a hack?
Chad:
One hack is just seeing people as extremely valuable.
This person is extremely valuable.
This person is made in the image of God.
Christ paid the ultimate price for this person.
I want to treat him or her with honor.
As an image bearer of the Creator and as the one for whom my Redeemer has died.
That’s the weightiness.
Rob Dayton:
First and foremost.
So putting weight on the bar might look like the person in front of me is completely vile, ripped me off, betrayed me.
And now because I’ve practiced that mindset of the image bearer mindset, maybe in that moment of extra weight I can see, get a glimpse of, well this is an image bearer.
And then hesitate.
I remember a specific story.
I think I actually put it in the book where this guy in Santa Barbara was making my doors.
You guys have seen my doors in Santa Barbara.
They’re insanely cool Santa Barbara doors.
Each door is a window.
It’s very cool.
This guy was making them for me and I’d given him all the money and months and months and months later the doors were ready to be put in, but there’s no doors.
And I actually lost my cool and started yelling at him.
Then I got halfway home and I just started bawling.
I’m like, what right do I have to yell like that to an image bearer of God?
And I turned right around and apologized through tears.
The fun part is I got my doors in the next two weeks.
But that’s when we’re hot and heavy on people and feeling the brunt of anger.
These mindsets could be our lifesaver to love people in that moment.
Daniel, thoughts on that?
Daniel:
I think a lot of it comes back to abiding.
Out of the overflow of the heart.
A lot of the life we’re talking about here that we want to live, there is an act of the will.
There is a mental choice to be made.
But it’s also an overflow of the heart.
The love of God compels us to action.
Love is the thing.
And love looks like something while we’re here.
We are acting and doing and speaking, God willing, in a certain way.
I think abiding is the key.
One of the things you said in one of the podcasts, Rob, which really caught me was obedience leads to abiding.
Rob Dayton:
Yeah.
This is from John 14 where Jesus says if you love Me, obey My commandments, My Father will love you and We will come and make Our home with you.
That word home is abode or abide.
Daniel:
Yeah, it’s like a virtuous circle.
We make a choice to obey and we find ourselves dwelling where He is, which makes us want to obey and do even more, which gets us even closer to Him and so on and so on.
And then we’re just blowing up in the best possible way.
That would be cool.
Rob Dayton:
One thing I was thinking about mindsets that’s kind of interesting is when we have a mindset about the future.
We don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future.
The act of worry is about something that hasn’t happened in the future.
The act of hope is about something that hasn’t happened in the future.
Both are unreal because they haven’t happened yet.
So the question boils down to which one is gonna serve you in the area of the behaviors of love best?
The worry position or the hope position?
God is working all things together for good.
Daniel:
Sometimes circumstances make it easier to be up and looking positive.
Other times circumstances make it really hard because you’re feeling crushed.
And that’s when I think, now it’s time to be in the gym.
There’s something God’s doing here.
Somehow embrace the process as far as you’re able to.
Rob Dayton:
You could actually just see life as a gym.
Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of any kind.
Daniel:
Right.
We say that a lot and then we find ourselves in the fiery trial and it’s like no, I didn’t know it would be like this.
Or we find ourselves in the darkest valley.
And sometimes those are the times where it’s more challenging.
And yet on the other side of that, there’s the table He’s prepared for us.
Rob Dayton:
Any final thoughts Chad on mindsets?
Chad:
One final mindset that has been particularly meaningful for me when it comes to forgiving people that have wronged me.
Christ died for my sins and the sins against me.
Rob Dayton:
So that means what they did to you was paid for.
Chad:
Exactly.
I’m grateful beyond measure for all that Christ paid for me.
And Christ died for the sins of whoever hurt me, freeing me to forgive them because Christ has already paid that debt and loves that individual.
So I can let that go and love them well.
Daniel:
Every time I revisit the 100X Life content, the commands of Jesus, and the mindsets you’ve just done now, it’s such an incredible encouragement to know that there is a framework by which we can live our lives.
There are mindsets you can adopt which will get you where you’re gonna go.
There is behavior you can choose that’s gonna get you where you’re gonna go.
He hasn’t left us just to flail in ignorance.
There is a roadmap.
There is a framework.
There are instructions.
There is a lamp to our feet.
It’s gold.
We haven’t been left to guess.
Chad:
If you have a mindset for each of those commitments, you will build traction toward experiencing life in all its fullness.
Rob Dayton:
Well guys, thank you so much for this conversation.
Super rich about mindsets.
I love where we went talking about frameworks and the frameworks that Jesus has provided us to actually repent, to actually change the way we think.
If you are looking for a journal prompt, the best one I could recommend right now would be:
Holy Spirit, what mindset do I need to be working on right now?
Show me a mindset, Holy Spirit.
Maybe it’s in your role as a spouse, a parent, a worker, steward, your role to the church, or your work role to the world.
What is the mindset that you need right now?
Remember, the weight’s going to go on the bar.
We are in the gym.
We are talking about 100X Life and living the words of Jesus.
And that requires changing the way we think in order to believe those words and have behaviors be natural.
Chad and Daniel, really appreciate your time and investment in 100X Life as coaches.
And guys, we will see you next week.
