Ep. 131 | What If You’re Capable of More Than You Think?

Jun 23

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

What if the biggest reason you’ve stopped growing… is because you think you already know enough?

In this episode of the 100xLife Podcast, Rob Dayton takes listeners through a powerful coaching session designed to challenge one of the biggest obstacles to spiritual growth: familiarity.

Too often, we hear truth we’ve heard before and immediately stop engaging. We assume we already know it, stop applying it, and unknowingly stunt the transformation Jesus is inviting us into.

Rob unpacks why this mindset quietly fuels complacency in the church and introduces a better question that can reshape how we approach growth:

What am I capable of?

From marriage and parenting to stewardship, work, mindset development, and our ability to love, this episode challenges believers to stop settling for doing “just enough” and start pursuing the full capacity God designed them for.

Because following Jesus was never meant to be passive agreement.

It was always meant to transform who you become.

If you’ve been feeling stagnant in your faith or ready to grow deeper in your walk with Jesus, this episode will challenge you to think bigger about what God may be calling you into next.

You’ll Hear

• Why familiarity is one of the biggest barriers to spiritual growth
• How passive church attendance can quietly create complacency
• Why hearing truth is not the same as transformation
• The dangerous habit of saying “I’ve heard this before”
• How to replace low performance thinking with a growth mindset
• Why the question What am I capable of? changes everything
• How to evaluate your growth in marriage, parenting, work, stewardship, and relationships
• Why God’s ultimate purpose is developing our capacity to love

Journal Prompts

• Holy Spirit, what truth have I stopped applying because I think I already know it?
• Where have I become comfortable instead of continuing to grow?
• Father, what am I truly capable of becoming if I fully surrendered this area of my life to You?

Recommended Reading

Beyond High Performance: A powerful framework on capability, performance, and unlocking growth beyond your current thinking.

Welcome to the 100X Life Podcast, where we activate people who desire to live the words of Jesus and experience the abundant life He promises. I'm your host, Rob Dayton, and I hope this podcast inspires you to put in the work of following Jesus.
Hey 100x lifers, welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited about today because I want to do a coaching session with you. Yeah, I coach a lot of people. I'd love to do a coaching session with you. So this podcast is going to be a little bit different. I encourage you if you're if you're listening to this to listen with your journal or some notes that you could type, that you can get in some deep reflection. I've got some incredible questions to ask you, take you through a rubric. The whole point is to get you to better follow Jesus always. That's what a 100xLife goal is, to live the words of Jesus, his behaviors of love. before I get into it and to give you time to get your journal going and to sit down and start having a little coaching session, I want to acknowledge the people who are in the 62-day challenge right now. Journey, the Journey Group in Santa Barbara, Journey Group in Bakersfield. They're doing the challenge. And then also Santa Barbara Community Church is doing it again. They're doing a summer challenge. So way to go coaches, John Van Linton, Steve Wagner, Jim Johnson, great coaches, 100xLife coaches. And also, if you want to become a 100x live coach because you've taken the 62-day challenge, that's the only requirement. Head on over to the website. There's a new coaching portal where you can actually get all the resources you need, have access to me help you with coaching. It's a really, really great way to get started and forming a group. So check it out. Okay, so let's get into this coaching session. Here's your challenge. This is the challenge of church. And it's it always has been the challenge of church. This is maybe not something new that you've heard. And the problem is that you are subject to things that you've heard before. This is the challenge of church. You come into church and then you start hearing a sermon or someone talking about something, and a little message arrives in your brain that says, I've heard this And the challenge with that is typically what happens is this is where. putting Jesus' words into practice, or if you're in the broader text of the Bible, putting any of the words of the Bible into practice, they it that that's where it dies. As soon as you've raised this message, I've heard this before, now you've got a problem because you tend to click it off and you tend to not listen. You may still be worshipful and say, Amen, because you know it's true, or and you've heard it before. but you're not thinking about internalizing it. And then even worse, what happens is not only do you not think about how to put it into practice because you've heard it before, you also think, hey, I think Johnny needs to to hear this message. Maybe hey, send them the link to the to the message, because Johnny really needs this man. Johnny, Johnny's the one. This is how church builds narcissism. That is the process of narcissism. And how it's built in the church. you're listening to a message, you identify that you've heard it before. Your mind says, okay, click. We're not we're not in learning mode, we're not in practical application mode. And then the narcissistic behavior is someone else needs this. Not me. I'm good. Someone else needs this. And that's where narcissism starts, man. You could take that with 52 life-changing messages a year in church that you tend to click off, that can become a very narcissistic thing. it's really tragic. It's a very tragic thing that happens. And this is why Jesus would call those people fools. He would call, and how many people are in church are fools? They're they're in the pews and they're hearing the words of Jesus, but they're not putting them into practice. They're saying amen, Pastor, without a reflection of how they've grown in the words of Jesus. and then the challenge for pastors is because every pastor is aware that that's happening, that you're actually click, I'm turning that off. because that's happening, pastors tend to try to bring the the life-changing message, 52 life-changing messages. So they gotta they've gotta invent material for you so that you can actually absorb it better. Rob Dayton (04:40) So, this same challenge we have in church about hearing the information before is going to be presented to you in 100x life. Maybe you've read the book, maybe you've done some listings of the words of Jesus, also the behaviors of love. And so you're like, I've read them, I know them now, and that is the danger. We want to have the words of Jesus before us again and again and again and again and again. We want to get completely dialed in because growth does not happen instantly. In fact, the goal here, if you remember with 100xLife is that we're rewiring our brain. Our mind is going to take authority over our brains, our body, gonna reprogram our brains to automatically serve up the emotions and behaviors of Jesus. So faith, true faith, is when. You c make a conscientious decision with your mind. And then you've also reprogrammed your brain for the same behavior so that you don't get in that whole Romans seven thing where, yeah, my mind wants to do this, but my body does something different. Or my mind doesn't want to do this, my body does it anyway. So we wanna to escape that to get into consistent faith, we need to have our brains rewired. That's gonna take time. That's gonna take A lot of time. And so I kinda wanna go over it to do some coaching with you to see how do I actually continually exercise the words of Jesus? What is the what are the questions that I need to continually ask so that I can make sure that I continue to be in a growth mode? you might say, Where what's my growth edge? Y one of the things that's really important to know. And have an answer for it any time is what is Jesus teaching you right now? That is an excellent question. And to have an answer at every moment is a really wise way to stay focused on continually to improve your behavior. so what's happening is with any anything that you're doing on planet earth, any assignment, any responsibility is you're asking. one of a number of questions and you probably aren't even aware that you're asking these questions, but you are you're asking a question and it's all about performance. or you could say behavior. And is this the is this performance okay? Is this to get by? And to give you the levels of performance, I want to take from Jason Jagger's book, Beyond High Performance, great read, highly recommend it. And he talks about that there's in low performance. Here's the question you're asking yourself. Again, you might not be aware of it is low performance is what's the least I can do without getting caught? What is the least I can do? And a lot of people approach the gospel this way. What's the least I can do to get into heaven? What is the least I can do to fulfill that commandment? The Pharisees were really, really good at that, And this is how, leaven of the Pharisee, which is hypocrisy in Jesus' terms, is this is how it gets in, is like they have a box they can check and then they're covered. that is the least they can do without getting caught or getting by. there's performance. So that was low performance. Here's the question you ask when you want to do performance. How could I do a good job? And you think about marriage. Hmm, how could I do a good job with marriage? How could I be a good Father. how could I be good at work? How could I be good in this relationship? You're probably you're probably asking yourself that question. It's either low performance or performance, or maybe this one, and fewer people ask this question. This is high performance. How could I be the best? know, in the master's program, we talk about ranking our ten commitments in the in the four realms, in the personal realm, the family realm, kingdom realm. in the professional realm is we have these things that God has assigned only us body, mind, soul, spirit, spouse, father, or if you're a mother, worker or steward. And then what is your role to the church, the body of Christ, and what is your role to the world? So those 10 things are the 10 commitments. And we talk about the 10 commitments. And then we rate them as, you know, how do you not necessarily how do I be the best, but You give yourself a 10 when you can say, hey, I'm actually leading in this area. I'm an example of someone who's really doing this well. And so I'm going to rate myself high. That's how we handled that in the master's program, probably with high performance. It's not quite how can I be the best, but it's it's how can I be that example. And then Jason Jagger says, Hey, all those questions are really not the right question. And this is what I want to invite you into in this coaching session. He talks about this thing called meta-performance. And that has a whole different question. And that question really stands above all questions, and that is, what am I capable of? What are you capable of? Can you imagine in church if this is the predominant question that you're automatically answering when we're hearing the words of God, the words of Jesus? And their your question is, what am I capable of in this area? You know, I think about this. you know, I I don't like to call myself a Christian because it turns out that Christians are the reputation of Jesus. And I think that Christians have given Jesus a really bad reputation. I know a lot of people who don't want to be Christians because they don't want to be like them. they see a lot of narcissism, they see a lot of hypocrisy. They see people who say they have peace and joy and love, and their lives are not a representation of peace, joy, and love. And so they they reject the church. I like calling myself a Jesus follower because I think, well, maybe you think a little bit differently if I'm talking to someone, yeah, I'm a Jesus follower instead of I'm a Christian, kind of shifts the mindset a little bit. But when you think about what I'm capable of. Following Jesus, what if you applied that question to following Jesus? What are you capable of? How amazing could be your ability to follow Jesus? You know, and we have a construct in 100x life that Jesus is going somewhere, he's taking you on a journey, that journey leads to the Father's house, and that he's inviting you into the behaviors of love. So first would be following Jesus. What am I capable of? Maybe, maybe take a little note. What do you think that is? What does that look like? What is your highest capability? And what we've found in performance and and many people have discovered this is capability lives outside of your current thinking. In other words, capability is beyond what you think is possible. Now we know We know God operates in more than we could ask for or possibly imagine. That's where he operates at, which is outside of our current level of thinking. But it's also important to see that our capability, all leaders who have been studied, turns out they were way more capable than they could imagine in their brains. So when you answer the question of following Jesus, what am I capable of? You really need to stretch to be true. I mean, there's probably some pretty amazing capability you could come up with. What what would it look like to be following Jesus and like what am I capable? Am I capable of holding the Trinity or at least one member of the Trinity in my consciousness throughout the day in a way of following? I mean, that might be like the higher bar or outside of your current level of thinking. And then another area you can think about this capability is mindset. Mindset development. You know, I've suggested that Jesus says repent. He says repent, and that's changed the way you think. That's his baseline for being a Jesus follower is you've got to change the way you think. You've got to think in the behaviors of love, is another way of saying that. The the the fifty-five commands of Christ. And so what are you capable of? What what could you become capable of in terms of being an incredible mindset developer? Where you could actually create mindsets on the fly as the negative emotions are arising and trying to get you off your game, creating new mindsets that would take you into love, joy, peace, and a transformation. So what does that look like? You might take a note on that. How about love? last couple podcasts, we've suggested that the purpose Of all existence that God's design for the entire the triune being has designed for time, he constructed time for a purpose. He constructed marriage for a purpose because there's no marriage in heaven. He constructed procreation on earth for a purpose. And what we suggested to you is that all those purposes are for you to gain the capacity of love. What are you capable of in love? Are you when you think about love, do you want to just do enough to get by? You just want to do a good job loving? Or the better question is, what are you capable of? What are you capable terms of loving that friend? that is so that's such a different question. It takes us to a whole nother level. and remember one of the things that Chad Erlinborn suggested in our last podcast, which I really love and I've been thinking and journaling on quite a bit, is that he suggested the only thing we take with us into heaven, aside from the things that we pay forward, as as the words of Jesus says, build purses on earth, but build heavenly purses. work for food that endures for turtle life is a word of Jesus. He was suggesting that we actually take in from here to there, we take in our ca our our capability of loving. And if the entire purpose of this grand design that God has put into place that you're a part of and you're living this small amount of years on planet Earth and then millions of years for eternity, if that purpose is love, what are you capable of? What would be outside of your current level of thinking that you could journal right now? That would clearly be a capability of love that you don't have that you you may not think you'll you'll ever get. for example, you're you're just going through life and you're looking at everybody, and everybody you see, you're absolutely undone because they're image bearers, and you just want to love them. Doesn't matter what their behavior is, you just have this inclination to love, to encourage, to build up. how would you describe something that you would be capable of that would be outside of your current thinking? How about marriage? Let's do do do some journaling on marriage. If if you're married. Man, this is this is one I think that we if you're just gonna do the default life and you're limited you're you're really distracted by all concerns, the stresses. The desires for other things. It seems like the marriage is the thing where you're saying, Hey, what what do I do to have to get by? What do I have to do to not destroy this relationship but sustain it? We're not even asking, like, how could I do a good job or how I could be the best? But here's the question. In marriage, what are you capable of? could you be one who loves your spouse or so radically that they're undone by it, that they're overjoyed by it, that they can't even believe they're married to you. Think about what are your what your capability of. maybe that looks like and we're trying to, again, we're trying to swing beyond the fences of your current level of thinking. We're trying to get into the the category of more than I could ask or imagine in this case in the area of marriage. What am I capable of? Am I if am I capable of actually living moment to moment with this person with a deep abiding appreciation of them? consistently and almost excessively giving them their love language, whatever that looks like, thinking of them, doing things for them. What are you capable of in marriage? Isn't that like It's so freeing to me. it's so much better than the question, how can I be the best? Because it opens up dimensions that we are we actually do have capability that we don't even know, we haven't exercised. And remember, this is all under the premise of we hear something before and we already know a thing. And what we're trying to do is instead click, turn it off. I already know this. We're trying to. Well up the question, well, what am I capable of? So in in the church setting, you might be hearing the the sermon, and instead of, I've heard this before, or as soon as you do say to yourself, I've heard this before, make that a cue for your habit of thinking, your new habit, which is, well, what am I capable of? Is there something I'm even more capable of in this area? The pastor is talking about. about parenting? What are you capable of? If your kid was one of the most important things to you, what are you capable of in terms of serving them as a parent, as a father, as a mother? what are you capable of in terms of hearing their emotional states and seeing beyond their language of being present? what is the highest capability for you look like? How would you show up if you were in that status of beyond or Or what you truly are capable of, how would you show up in that parenting role? journal those thoughts. What would that look like? in your job, whether you're an entrepreneur or you're going to a nine and five, what is what are you capable of in that space? again, a lot of us are thinking, I just want to get by, I want to just not disrupt the boss, I want to just get a good eval, all that's wonderful and dandy. But here's the new question: what am I capable of? And then journal your thoughts. what would be beyond what you could ask for or possibly imagine that you could do in the workspace? Maybe that's earning more. Maybe that's applying your purpose more precisely in the roles that you're leading or doing at work. Maybe just being, as we talk about in the master's program, being consistent with who God designed you to be. In the area of work. What does that look like? How do you get into the a flow state and just naturally exude your God design in the work environment? Those might be some questions that you would ask yourself or describe for yourself in terms of what are you capable of? And then stewardship. Stewardship. What are you capable of in stewardship? A lot of people even dismiss this. They think. Well, you know, my obligation is that God wants 10%. Some people think in a new covenant, the 10% doesn't matter. I think that's wrong. And it really shouldn't be what's the again, this is low performance, is what's the least I can give to get by? What is the least I can give? That is just not a Jesus thought in the area of more than I could ask for imagine, or in the economy of God, which is an abundance. There's no limitations in terms of resources. It's not limited resources. There's only more, more, more. So am I capable of in the air of stewardship? One of the first things that you couldn't change is that God owns it all and start looking at everything that I'm looking around my desk and everything outside and this house. And, you know, that that's why moving from Santa Barbara was so important because, you know, it was really his house. It's it's his money. what am I capable of in really thinking how to spend his money? Can't take anything with you. I want to die broke. I want to be the person who was there giving it away before I passed away. That's what I'm capable of and exploring more ways to give, more ways to be strategic about giving and leveraging investments for the kingdom, paying it forward. and so th those are some areas, those are just the master's program rubric, and then you can also think about your role in the church. And you could think about that as a Sunday experience, but I would I would encourage you to expand that to just believers. Do you have a specific role to play for believers that's part of your design that God is asking you to do? What are you capable of? What are you capable of in terms of discipling? The 100xLife is an incredible rubric. That Jesus invented for discipleship. What does it look like? What are you capable of of taking 100x life to the next level and to not just live the words of Jesus, but being a purveyor and an inviter and a coach of other people, inviting them into also living the words of Jesus? And then also your role to the world. What does that look like? What is what is your key God design role to the world? How do you serve them best? You know, for me, that's cities. I love serving cities and coaching cities and executive teams of cities. Nancy and I are really devoted to water mission and and getting clean water to people that don't have it. as we like to say, giving a a cup of water to Jesus, the least of these. So much you can do with the amount of money that we have in America, even if you don't think you have a lot, that money goes so much further overseas in a different economy. So, what are you capable of? What are you capable of when it comes to serving the world and inviting them into experience you as the light of the world and experience the gospel that you're living when you're living the words of Jesus? So that's the coaching session. I, you know, if you need to back up, play it again, answer these questions in your journal. Start to think about your vision of capability in these areas that are staples that God's given only you. to live out and then he's given all of us, each of us, a capability to love. If the if the whole grand purpose of this existence is simply to create people who have choice and put them in a in a gym or a workout environment so they increase ever increasing capability of love until we get to eternity. When we get to eternity turns out Everything's made of love. Everything, everything has love on it. this is from Imagine Heaven. you're you're you're looking at at trees and creation, and all of it's exuding love. When anyone's talking, it's exuding love. Everything is love. There is no death. There is no fear. So growing that capability of love, man, what a great concept to leave you with. If you want some journal prompts, I've got some journal prompts. You've got I've given you a lot of prompts actually in this coaching session. But here's a journal prompt. Holy Spirit, reveal an area of growth that I'm dismissing because I've heard it before. I'll read that again. Holy Spirit, reveal an area of growth that I'm dismissing because I've heard it before. What's one area? Let Holy Spirit speak to you. Answer in the first the first person from Holy Spirit to you. Have him describe an area that you think you've got it, but you really have some growth. And man, you could really up your game in love if you worked on that. And then, second journal prompt, father or papa, daddy, your whatever your choice is, name of the father. Show me what I'm capable of in this area of growth. What am I capable of? So the area that the Holy Spirit showed you that, hey, you. You're dismissing it because you've heard it before, and he's inviting you into really doubling down. You're asking the Father, show me what I'm capable of in this area of growth. What would that look like? What would be outside of my current capacity to think beyond what I could ask for or imagine? Great journal prompts for you. thank you so much for listening to this. And I and I pray that you will not just hear, be a hearer, even when you've heard it before. You build a resistance in your body that says, Well, no, we're we we're not there yet. You you're perfected when you get to heaven, and then you can build in perfection here on earth, particularly in love, but all the areas, other areas that we mentioned on this particular episode, you have the ability to continually, continually grow. So build in your mindset a resistance to that. I've heard this before. Rising from your brain. Nope, we're not doing that. There's always more capability. I can stretch and figure out how to be even more capable than what I am right now in the area I'm listening to, and the words of Jesus I'm listening to. Love you guys. Have a great time this We'll see you next time.